Dear readers, I fear that I have might have much to confess this Christmas morning.
I tried to be good this year. I really did! But I apparently have not succeeded.
Oh yes, dear readers, my stocking was filled with coal!
Filled right to the brim, which I suppose could be a good thing on a cold morning. But given the traditional symbolism of such a gesture on such a day, it is clear that Santa really must have been watching, and knows without a doubt exactly how naughty I have been.
A couple of days ago, as you know, I implored the elf to define naughty and nice. I feared that many of us around here might be getting coal, and frankly, I had hoped for a clearer definition to share with you on this Christmas day. Still I am not entirely sure of anything, except that I have done something.
Oh yes. “Lady D.,” he says, “you have been a very, very bad girl.”
All right. It is true, I am sure. Yes, true! All of it is true.
But how much does Santa know?
And coal is all fine and dandy, but what more does this mean? Oh, Santa, tell me! What becomes of naughty girls?
Does Santa just give coal, or does he punish wicked girls, too? Does he bend them over that red velvet lap of his, and spank? Does he bend them over and hold them down while lifting their skirts, while lowering their panties? Does he hold them down while they squirm and plead and cry? Does he leave their white cheeks all red and hot, their pussies swollen and hot, and wet?
Oh, Santa, no! Not that!
Oh, no. Probably not that.
Now, given the fact that the rest of the day has been rather pleasant–a copper pan for cooking risotto popped up under the tree, for example–I might assume that Santa only wishes for me to know that he knows.
But things are never as simple as they seem. Yes, he will be jovial–all ho ho and all that–and act as though everything is perfectly fine. We will ignore the topic of coal in the stocking, until later tonight, when he asks me about it.
“Oh, Lady D.,” he will say, “what did Santa leave in your stocking?”
And that is the part where I will have to admit to him that I noticed the coal. And he will ask me, I imagine, why I think I might have gotten coal.
And this is when I am supposed to confess, I know.
And to be honest dear readers, it is difficult to know what to tell when I still do not know which part of my fun Santa has deemed naughty. I do so fear the punishment that Santa may ultimately dole out.
So… let me think.
The holidays this year have been festive, ’tis true.
The party last Saturday was a joyous affair. Perhaps my flirtations may have gotten a little out of hand. Anything outrageous was unintentional–at least a little. I confess that I could have stopped earlier.
And it is true that bawdiness was not completely out of the question any other evening last weekend. I did behave myself! (well, at least in public).
And it is true, yes, oh yes!, it is true that my little dinner parties are so rarely altogether innocent. I confess to some level of debauchery. Do I really have to tell more? Do you really want to know?
Oh, Santa! Do I have to admit to all of my pleasure? All of it?
I cover my rear in anticipation. I back off, try to think how I can get out of it, how I might tell part of the truth that Santa already knows. I try hard to fathom how I might phrase things to make them seem less… less… slutty.
So… realistically… I leave it to you. Readers, how could Santa really know that the muffled whimpers and sighs and outright screams are anything more than my own exclamations of the joy of the season?
And it is joy, I am quick to say, that should indeed extend throughout the entire year.
Does Santa need details?
And yes.. yes… I have already said this: I fear that Santa may have more in mind than the coal.
And yet, one friend has already suggested that my deeds–misdeeds-may indeed be more meriting of a trip down the chimney than anything else. But I know all too well that Santa is very likely to be collecting his switches, now that the season of lap dances has ended. I know that he intends full well to use those switches on me, to leave me marked up and excited, to tie me down and watch me squirm in misery.
What is a bad girl to do?
Must I tell all about the sensations and the flesh, the feelings, the flush of cheeks? Must I tell everything!?
Oh Santa, as I mentioned here days earlier, yes: I embrace the coal. I accept your gift in all its smutty goodness. Thank you Santa. Thank you.
Will there be anything else?