You did not spank me. And really, my thoughts may have been quite naughty, but my actions have not been. For all the talking, the fantasies and the laughter, for all this time I have done nothing but talk, and write, fuck you and think of you.
I am reluctant to say this, that a hug from you is more satisfying than almost any of the dirtiest gang bang scenarios I might concoct–and indeed, act upon in the right circumstances. But I would rather hold hands with you and kiss you right now than be tied up by you… And still, I love to think of you tying me up.
Where does this lead? I have no idea. I feel such immense freedom with you that it never really matters. If we were to meet the tempting friends and act upon our wildest fantasies, I would be happy, but equally happy to lie beside you holding hands in a field and watch the clouds reinvent themselves. I feel I have known you forever, and always will, wherever you are.
Push me to my limits, whether in physical sensation or emotional.. I trust you. It is this that makes life real. I can push you in a wordless realm, in the silence where I would never want anything more than who you are right now. You challenge me in so many ways, ways you do not even know. I want to say this to you.. and yet, I find myself letting my thoughts just be.
ARDENT: Nous y volerons dans les airs. Vous n’aurez pas peur?
LA BELLE: J’aime avoir peur… avec vous!
ARDENT: Belle! Je vous emporte. En route!
–(Jean Cocteau, La Belle et la bête, 1945)