contemplation

Sex and death are taboo subjects for discussion, much less for embracing.

I do not embrace death in any sense of desiring it the way that I desire sex, but I also never want to turn my back on anyone who reminds me of the fragility of my own existence. We live, we breathe.. better to do it to our fullest extent, reaching to find, surpass our own limits, whatever they may be. We are all temporarily abled, in the conventional ideas of what ability comprises. But a sense we are all disabled in some sense, always, too. I want to push beyond my own existence. This is being alive, living.

I embrace my sexuality. I want a life in which desire can flow freely, naturally, as an expression of life itself and not a mere compartment of it. Limitations of expression–I would not discuss my desires everywhere, with everyone–are natural, but only in the sense of time, space. This time, this space.. I explore here.

It is easy to feel adrift here, in the world, when such thoughts seem so far from what convention dictates us to think. Where do we find the limits not just of our own physical body, but of our own emotions? How do we define ourselves when we cannot hang onto institutions? How do we interact with our society’s institutions and not lose ourselves in those definitions? I think of this all the time. We remain true to ourselves. We remain true to life. We remain true to love.

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