invitation

Your invitation has made me a bit nervous, that’s all, I say, as I sit in the booth at a quarter past five, glancing at my watch–you said 5:30, and I have come early, not because I meant to, but because I did not get lost. And now I am sitting here, alone, aware enough of your intentions, and mine.

I have seen the gleam in your eyes, mornings, your grey wool, my hair up and neat, and we rode the elevator to the sixth floor, where I get off, you farther up, I knew, I knew as you glanced over at me, day after day, the wordless wolf-like grin, teeth showing. Big bad, little red. I need you.

Strolling in, you seem so cool, the room is yours, the universe. Squeezing fast in next to me in the tall seats, not cool, no, you are not, your heat searing my cunt with a brush of your hand, my hand shaking as the waitress hands me my scotch, you your gin. It burns, your hand tight on my thigh, grasping, then soft, higher, sigh, your fingers push my short skirt still higher as you speak indecipherable words that I realize later were kind, ordinary, the string of my thong now wet and teasing,  tightwire. I might fall.

Ice in a glass, you ask, receive, reach for a cube, reach down, it melts as you trace patterns on my hot bare skin. “Here,” you hand a cube to me. “Put it in your cunt.”

I look, confused, at first, then determined, my fingers beneath my skirt, pushing aside the string of the thong, my fingers straight into the heat, my wet, the cube, melting quickly, my need multiplies. You continue to talk to me, tell me tales of the everyday, hold my hand, my wild eyes, wild desire, tomorrow, yes, I will, here, same time.

pop music

It was too loud and too dark and I had a glass or two too many to care if my skirt was too short or was riding up my ass as you said was so fucking hot last night.

The rhythm had me, you knew it, when you grabbed my hand and turned with me on the floor. Bones meet flesh, and your skin was solid, sculpted, sure, squeezing against me in the dark crowd, bass line driving, driving me home in my buzz, in your deliberate responses to my blatant desire, your questioning eye. “Yes?” I nodded back, and you pushed me roughly through the thick crowd, through the doors and into the night, music still pounding against the bricks in the alley beside, where you ripped down the buttons of my sweater, my bra, my nipple aching as you suck hard and I gasp yes, yes, I touch your pants, I feel your cock fill my hand. Your breath smokes in the cold air you sigh I pull your belt release unzip drop to my knees to take you taste you want you, your hand pushing my head, pulling my hair, my hands yanking my sodden panties down, off. Fuck my mouth, hard, fuck me, lift me, my skirt worked up my hips, heels digging into your back, bricks scratching my back. I kiss your mouth hard, hungry, the whiskey warm on my throat, lingering taste of your cock, your cock now gliding into my slick heat.

restrain me

I pull, in vain.

Expert knots, stopper knots, but you would let me free, I know. If I asked.

Or would you make me beg? I wish for this, for your desire to keep me here, at your disposal.

I wish for your desire itself, pure within the context of possibility.

I am here, love, open. I percolate. I wait.

Dark–no, light, still more light–in the au-delà, where you have always found me.

I wish.

I may.

I might.

resist me

Resisting you is futile.

I knew it then, that first smile, when you glanced at me across a crowded room, watched me cross my legs and watched me look down to straighten my skirt, then look up, to look at you, looking at me, you.

My words twist, convulse, as I lie back on a soft morning, my dressing slow and luxurious, as though I had nowhere in particular to go, though I am dressing to leave for the day. I have nowhere to go, I wish, but to fall back into bed, with you, your dream, you, not here, somehow here, soon here. Your voice drifts off as words turn to meaning. You know what I mean, exactly. You are here.

I wonder, at the time, daylight savings, time lost, time spent, time waiting, time I could say I devoted to you, to desire, to the mere wonder of a moment, lost, spent, awaited, devoted, desired, a moment. One more. That’s all.

 

 

 

once in a while

Waiting, wistful–no, wishful, willful, unwilling, willing perhaps in the window seat, I peek out at the shadows on the street, half expecting your innocent prance past the parked cars across, up the path.

I found your note tucked into the letter box, your invitation, I was here, meet me once more, tomorrow, noon. I am here.

I am here, black sheer stockings rolled up my shaved legs early in the day, garters catching the lace beneath the short skirt, someone saw, blushed, said nothing, carried on, then whispered, he’ll think of me.

Think of me, I know you would be with me, if… If days were longer, if we had the time, space, cherished moments, life itself, some other life. Days grow shorter in autumn, clearer, these blue moons so unusual, still another three years’ wait, I hear, so rare, so lovely, you could.

We could, you know. We could race up the stairs once again, and you could catch me, throw me to the bed and kiss me, yes. You could lay your head in my lap and close your eyes, drift off, then stretch high to lie beside me, hold me close, too close, so close. You could let me love you while you fuck me I fuck you you love me.

Or maybe you do, or did, or wanted to, or could have, or could never say, or never did, or did, or will, or perhaps it was simply fear, or desire, deferred.

To greet you here, love, noon, today, tomorrow, skin so sweet, so six a.m., so Saturday, so sleep, now, love, sleep.

sunday, late

Come to bed, sweet, come now.

I should have fallen asleep now hours ago, or before now, anyway. The night has grown late, and I wait for you, want you, cannot sleep.

I have found the turquoise nightgown, the old one, vintage, some fantasy from long ago. It charms you, I know, with its ruffles, the polyester lining beneath chiffon, my hair up, now down as you unfasten it, let my dark strands fall onto my shoulders, and you, the kiss of red wine.. I drink from your glass, and yes, it is wonderful. For this I stay up late, just to watch you walk into the room, then turn, aroused by my nightly reading, your hand on the hem of the skirt.

You are quick, my love, your clothing tossed to the ground so quickly, so hurriedly, as I barely have the chance to enjoy the slow exposure of your fine flesh, your trousers bulging in front, your spray-starched shirt laid carefully upon my stack of skirts and sweaters that I might choose to wear this week. Why not put them in the closet, you say, until you open the closet, and see the dilemma, no room, too much, you are not surprised, as you lower your head beneath my legs, nearly immediately, yes, I wore panties, was wearing panties, and you have rolled them down my legs so deftly, now off, and your head is where I dreamed it might be, soon, now, your tongue circling my clit as you kneel in your navy briefs and lick me.

I should sleep, but now am wet, my sweat unavoidable in this room, this gown that, while elegant, does not breathe, meant obviously to please only momentarily before eventual removal, and you have pulled it now over my shoulders, my neck, your cock pressing against the briefs, which I nearly as quickly roll down your ass, and off. I could stop, revel in the luxury of skin, your honey hair at the base of your ready cock, my skin now supple, first, inviting, hot, ripe, as I see your prick bounce as I lick you there, me now kneeling as you stand, run your hands through my hair, then grasp my head, thrust into my mouth first hard, then though you thought you might hurt me, toss yourself onto the bed, pulling me atop.

I should sleep, the hours all the shorter as I look at the alarm, set, must awaken by six o’clock, and it is midnight now, past, now Monday, early, and I want to sleep, want more to fuck you, want more for you to flip me over and send me into sweet oblivion, sweet dreams, your come dripping from my throbbing cunt, my ass, and the dreams between. No, I cannot sleep, not with you in my bed, not yet.

tuesday

Hello, darlin’.

Yes, been listening to that old George Jones, here in the late afternoon, early evening now, later, as I look up and am glad to find you here, your fingers wandering up between my open legs as I lean back and explore the day, the tired day, the end of day that I wanted a nap, or, more than that, you, your cock, much more than I let myself ponder even in late summer, even when I am alone in that dreary office and looking at my horoscope, or twitter links, or whatever the Economist thinks that Angela is going to do about the Euro, or some other waste of time because I cannot take another serious thought, want laughter, oh yes, do that, just like that, want you.

Yes, take a sip, my dear, take a sip, it is the 2010 Gigondas, St. Cosmé, 95 by the Wine Spectator, and I am about to drink this glass myself, but drink, drink, lean into me, and love this, love this day and our mock sophistication. I still love this life, want you. Your cock is hard as you watch me. I know I feel so lazy today, my wants just there, not complicated now as I watch you remove your shirt, your taut arms, and finally I rouse enough to wrestle you down and ease my cunt around you, delicious you.

The fan whirs up above, my head now dizzy as I fall into this desire, this want, this hot, wet need, your sweat, your love, your grinding grunt as you turn me round and fuck me hard, the luxury of your finger winding locks of my hair, heat radiating, your scent stirring me all the more as you let yourself come, now, yes, me, yes, slick skin, hot sheets, drunk wine, hunger, the night beyond.

friday

Did I tell you about the peaches? I saw them there, these Hudson Valley beauties, in baskets, three dollars or so for the entire bunch of them. I stood in the pouring rain, and handed my bills to the woman at the counter. She pushed her hair behind her ears. No, she had never been to Spain, she told the man in the straw hat, who told her that he had just returned, that he was back now, that he was home. She looked away from him. No, she had never traveled to Europe, not even to New York City, she said, but her children had, and her neighbor had, and she looked at me with my dripping hair and took the watermelon from me, placed it on the scale, and then the cantaloupe, and the berries, same price as the peaches, but fewer of them. She said that it was not supposed to rain today, but here we were, the puddles now flooding the parking lot as I ran out with my bags and tossed them in the back, rushed to get in myself, and wrapped a beach towel  around my wet hair, and started the car.

I drove, drove on, forgot the peaches, turned down WFUV now in the driving rain, music now news, cars slow in front, cars fast behind me, the rain slowing, then stopping, then spitting, then sunny on the road that wound beside the railroad tracks, few cars, radio, “She Moves On” sings Paul Simon, little direction, the peaches now fragrant in the back of the car, so enticing that I pulled off and grabbed one, bit into it, bit my lip, juice running down my face in a sudden burst of sweet pain. I missed you then.

I missed you in the hot car, steam running off the streets as the sun hit once again, the corn green and tall here–nowhere else this year–and sparkling now, leaves hanging with the weight of the water, and again those peaches, I would feed one to you.

I would hold the peach so you could take a greedy bite from it, lick the juices from my fingertips, from my mouth, the sticky fruit no matter, in the heat, on a roadside, your salty rough face, calloused hands, shirt rolled up to your elbows, brown brawn, I want you. I want you there, that day, want the heat, and the clenching tight desire in my gut, the sweet lust for you, your lust for me, your company, and yes, sweet flesh, want you dripping down my face.

ramble

I woke up late this morning, morning obscured by clouds and Saturday calm, delight of good rest, promise of the day. Cycling today, nowhere to go, but go, still, the gently sloping turns around trees, greenery full now to the edge of the road in the height of summer, heat deferred in the grey day, pedals guiding me around these paths familiar, but not, the tinge of unexplicable nostalgia subtle as I go on, honeysuckle here, where the lightning bugs came out two nights ago. I wanted to show you then, but thought of it anyhow, and now, yes, I would tell you about the honeysuckle, dripping fragrance obvious, but I would still say something, I always do. I would say something about the soaring sweetness of it, the tree swing flying high above the meadow, my heart beating fast when you have finally caught me again, when you have pinned me down, and smile because you don’t have to, unbuttoned, the rush, giddy desire suspended, extended, delicious. Silence is sublime in the space it leaves, space to think and dream, and wonder, and ramble in the hazy world of Saturday.

shoulders

I was thinking, just now, about your shoulders.

I was thinking about you, alone with me, turned back to me while I kneaded your shoulders, sore, exhausted you said as you let your head hang loose, as I felt my nipples harden at the luxury of your muscles, your smooth skin, your naked back.

My hand wanders, you know, wanders down and round, down to your stiff cock, now down to my own slick warmth, my thoughts wandering, your shoulders now over mine, the effort of holding yourself over me, tease, then, the need, your breath soft against my neck, sinking, the initial gratification, then more, want more, yes more, miss you, miss your strength, miss your shoulders, miss this.