These days seem to come more often now, this year, these days of haze and unexpected warmth, days of daydreaming, wonder, wondering where you are, who you are, when you will come once more, days of autumn soon turning to winter, to the cold no doubt, to the leaves blown away, or frozen, the spicy earth no longer living either beneath my feet, ice there in its place, glistening, beautiful but dangerous, like the cold, like the winter, like the dark days. An endless season, it seems, this winter, dreaded, and so I hold onto the haze. I hold onto you.
Mmm.. mood lighting may not seem necessary when I am alone, but in fact it is the time when ambiance matters most, matters most for my imagination to run wild.
My imagination runs wild as the candles flicker, here in the shade-darkened afternoon room, dark save the balcony door left slightly open, a line of sunlight coming in with the faint breeze, the fresh smells of the day, the humidity, the buzz of the street below.
I wish you were here.
Is this not always what we say? think?, as we lie back in a soft bed, pillows propped up behind us, vibrators, toys, lined up for this sort of self-seduction. Masturbation is not always so well planned, but indeed, I do seduce myself right now, soaking in the warm perfumed bath, glancing at the used condoms tossed at some earlier moment into the wastebasket beside the bed.
My skin feels soft, damp, sweet, even to me. I lie back and groan to myself as my fingers plunge beneath panties put on why? Perhaps only to remind me of the way that you take them off, teasing, testing, making them wet. Naughty you. My panties are wet, yes, and it is because of you, because of that ever present image of you, your head there, down, there, your tongue circling and sucking, and my fingers reminding me of it all as I shut my eyes and lean back into utter luxury, the warm bath soothing, the tea, the candles again.. I am taken in so easily by all of this, and I want to be, want to let my daydreams bring you here to me now.
You are here. Do you remember these moments? Me, satiated. Yes, but after you hold my legs apart when I start to squirm, start to feel overwhelmed, and yes you overwhelm me with that circling tongue, you, the scent of you, your naked body stretched out with your hands pushing me apart, holding me down, bringing me to climax with that tongue, your mouth penetrating me through every orifice you find there, you licking with fury as I get louder and you feel your cock throb as you feel my orgasm closer, there, again, as you realize how easy it is to keep going and bring me higher and higher. Me satiated, perhaps, but wanting you, wanting to take you over.
You always move off of me, let me touch your cock, but stay on your belly, your ass inviting me to play with it. Yes, your lovely ass so willing, so tempting, so vulnerable there as you are, stretched out naked on my bed, your cock engorged, your balls heavy, your wish for me to penetrate you so keen as you soak in the flavor of my cunt all over your face. I want to tease you as you have teased me, but more, want to push you hard, see your face as your buttocks become redder and redder. I never need to tie you down for this: you willingly submit to my paddle, my hand, my hairbrush, all for the one moment that the sting is intense, the finger is wet and plunging into your ass so sweetly, so warmly as you relax then tense up in the confusion of the moment.. a strong sensation, pulsing, feeling that you might come quickly, explode. But you don’t. Not yet.
And I am so hot here thinking of this, thinking of you letting me whip you hard as you take it, only grimacing as I do it, and insisting that you want more as I question my own limits, whether I have pushed as far as you really can go. I find myself ever wetter, again, thinking of the way you push up onto your knees when the whipping seems to have ended, when you invite me, beg me to push my fingers into your lovely ass. When you want for me to lick your ass, suck your balls, fuck you.
Fuck me. My pussy is wet, swollen, primed from the coming waves and from the notion of your own lust, the awareness of your cock swollen too, wanting.
Tease. Tease.. I think of you here, the candles, the music, my breathing shallowed as I reach into my little orange bag and find the toys that most remind me of you. I fuck myself, yes, it is you, you fuck me here, somewhere in this daydream outside of time, outside of space, somewhere here in an afternoon, you are here, turning me on still. I tie my own legs to the bed, all the more excited by the restraints, nipples clamped, holes plugged tight, tighter, the no-escape pleasure like lava pouring down a mountainside hot hot, like you, exploding inevitably inside me as you pound me, as you take me, as you fuck me hard the way I must be fucked.